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1. |
Level One Bard
04:11
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The sun has gone down, the scouts on patrol
And the night watch is standing guard
So cuddle in close and I'll tell you the tale
Of the littlest level one bard
Robin would sit at the tavern
And talk to adventurers there
And listen to all of their stories
And look at their treasures so rare
But rarest of all to dear Robin
Was the prize that hung over the bar
Once owned by the most famous bard of them all
Was a beautiful steel-strung guitar
Robin learned how to read maps from
A scout with a scar on her face
Who knew where to find pretty flowers
And showed Robin the very best place
Next day with a foraging basket
And a backpack with lunch and a knife
The littlest bard set off on the first
Adventure of Robin's life.
That evening young Robin returned to the bar
With a basket of treasures to trade
Four flowers, three feathers, two herbs and an egg
Out on the table were laid.
The flowers and herbs were bought by the scout
One shiny gold coin for the lot
The cook in the back bought the egg for another
And added it to the stew pot.
The Barkeeper smiled and said "keep the feathers,
I think they'll look good in your hair,
You can have the guitar for your two shiny coins"
Robin said "Thank you, that's more than fair!"
So the Barkeep reached up and he solemnly
Took down the famous guitar
Lovingly tuned it, and gave it a clean
With a rag from behind the bar
And with a great flourish he gave it a strum
and a hush fell over the crowd
Then he sank to one knee, and held it out
To Robin, with his head bowed
Two tiny hands gripped the smooth wooden neck
And Robin's fingers seemed to glow
And the littlest bard picked out one ringing note
And music started to flow
So now Robin sits in the tavern
And tells stories of all they have seen
And plays the guitar that belongs to
The greatest bard there's ever been.
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2. |
Blue Haired Boy [E]
03:05
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Blue haired queer boy with a guitar seeks creative blue haired boy.
We can jam on the beach with a bottle of wine and talk about what brings us joy
When the sun goes down we can get a room
'Cos damn right that was a ploy
To get in bed with a music-loving son of a witch like me
A blue haired boy.
It's been years since I felt the touch of another man on my skin
That don't mean I'm gonna let just anybody in
Far too many people think this body is a sin
But I'm starving for your touch and my patience is wearing thin.
In a past life I was better at this, I got with everyone I could
There's a shyness comes with looking a little different under the hood
I know my way around a man and if you're game, I'll make it good
But if it's all too new then just walk away - it sucks, but it's understood.
I don't often sing about this kind of thing you see
I'd much rather meet someone in the wild, just naturally
We'd need no introduction, we know we were meant to be
And then my aromantic ass runs screaming when he tries to marry me - ha!
cos I'm a blue haired queer boy with a guitar, seeking a creative blue haired boy
We can jam on the beach with a bottle of wine, talk about what brings us joy
When the sun goes down we'll get a room cos you know that was a ploy
To get in bed with a music-loving son of a witch like me - another blue haired boy.
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3. |
Masterpieces
03:10
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The sun has gone down, the scouts on patrol
And the night watch is standing guard
So cuddle in close and I'll tell you the tale
Of the littlest level one bard
Robin would sit at the tavern
And talk to adventurers there
And listen to all of their stories
And look at their treasures so rare
But rarest of all to dear Robin
Was the prize that hung over the bar
Once owned by the most famous bard of them all
Was a beautiful steel-strung guitar
Robin learned how to read maps from
A scout with a scar on her face
Who knew where to find pretty flowers
And showed Robin the very best place
Next day with a foraging basket
And a backpack with lunch and a knife
The littlest bard set off on the first
Adventure of Robin's life.
That evening young Robin returned to the bar
With a basket of treasures to trade
Four flowers, three feathers, two herbs and an egg
Out on the table were laid.
The flowers and herbs were bought by the scout
One shiny gold coin for the lot
The cook in the back bought the egg for another
And added it to the stew pot.
The Barkeeper smiled and said "keep the feathers,
I think they'll look good in your hair,
You can have the guitar for your two shiny coins"
Robin said "Thank you, that's more than fair!"
So the Barkeep reached up and he solemnly
Took down the famous guitar
Lovingly tuned it, and gave it a clean
With a rag from behind the bar
And with a great flourish he gave it a strum
and a hush fell over the crowd
Then he sank to one knee, and held it out
To Robin, with his head bowed
Two tiny hands gripped the smooth wooden neck
And Robin's fingers seemed to glow
And the littlest bard picked out one ringing note
And music started to flow
So now Robin sits in the tavern
And tells stories of all they have seen
And plays the guitar that belongs to
The greatest bard there's ever been.
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4. |
Invocation
04:16
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A candle and a feather pen
Were good enough in 1610
Today the lighting's harsher
But the ink's as black as it was then
500 years and some things change but plague is back again
So I'll invoke the muses of William, Kit and Ben
How now, mad spirit
My muse of fire
Bring me words, words words
As I sleep, perchance to dream
What's another name for roses?
Help me fix this weak and idle theme.
Now I sit me down to write
There's wild romance, their souls alight
Of course that doesn't last
Enter Person Three to start a fight
Friends join in and one gets killed
Another won't survive the night
Of course it's all been done before
Please help me get this right
Perhaps my heroine should be
Shipwrecked in a storm at sea
She doesn't die at this time
But we won't find that out until act three
When later in the forest
She is found asleep beneath a tree
'cos... something something fairies...
Send an ending now to me!
There's a man dressed as a woman and
We'll update that and make her trans
She's fallen for the princess
Who doesn't really understand
But in the end it all works out
Exchanging wedding bands
With her father's ghost presiding
For those special effects fans...
All that's missing is a war
To go and give the French what-for
A history in pantomime
A play within the play for sure
A deal is made and broken
Leave the audiences wanting more
So they come back next season
To see Parts 2, 3 and 4
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Jamie Jay Dartmouth, UK
he/him
Queer/trans theatre maker, LARPer and generally creative chaos entity currently based in Devon UK.
Jamie Jay recommends:
Released under a separate account as it was produced by Red Banner Studios.
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